Ask Josh: Josh-Related Questions Edition!
Ask Josh! February 18th, 2010
This was the case he was talking about. From the Tali Tenang post.
Here are a few overdue Josh-related questions for the advice column of this blog, Ask Josh!™.
And here they are, in random order!
“hey where did u get ur 3gs cover from and how much eh?”
Congratulations on your choice of phone, and your taste in covers. It’s called the iClooly Ring, it’s a bit thick but functional. You can get it at the Mac Shop (forgot which one, there are 2 I think) in The Gardens. It’s about RM99. See it here: http://www.iclooly.com/
“hi..hi.. thanks for visiting my blog. yeah, can you give me any advise in my future career?? T-T”
Nico saw my talk at the recent Star Education Fair 2010 and blogged about it, which I then commented on. Read it here 
. The talk was also covered here on The Star.
Well, Nico, here’s are a few pointers:
Josh speaking at The Star Education Fair 2008
- Don’t ever bring your mother or boyfriend to job interviews ever. This merits a whole post by itself, which I will probably post later. Over the past few years I have interviewed some people who did that. It shows that you are not independent.
- Find out what you like to do, and chart out an acension path. Eg if you like hairdressing, aspire to have your own salon within 5 years or so. Or if you want to be a lawyer, find out how long you think it’ll take to become a partner of a firm or a director of your own law firm.
- Especially on #2, think of how far you want to go and how much you want to study. I have a relative who is a doctor, but advises me against becoming a doctor because you have to study for 5 years, and serve the government for 2-3 years. That means by the time you go out and work you are almost 30 already.
- Do you need to study to do your dream job? Or are you skilled enough, and need working experience?
- What is your backup plan if you do not manage to do your first choice?
- What can you afford? Education is getting more and more expensive. It’s best to make a choice that is justified.
- Meet some industry people or take an internship to get a feel of your future job. Don’t make a decision without doing that first.
- Start as early as possible. You don’t need to wait for college to start learning.
- Work on your soft skills - presentation, talking, grooming, etc. These skills are beneficial no matter if you are an executive, a manager, a hairdresser or a lawyer.
- Find something you can enjoy doing, OR something that you can see yourself doing (even if you don’t enjoy it that much) and enjoy the money earned.
“hai Josh..
Im richie. I just want to know how can i apply exclusivity for my Advertlets account?
Because it seems my blog has generate some amazing earnings with advertlets. I hope i can get a reply from u soon “
Sure thing Richie! (Nice name btw). You can drop an e-mail to asking about exclusivity, and they’ll take you through the process. Thanks for your interest in Advertlets
Btw, Richie has already been approved for Advertlets Titan exclusivity for both his blogs - RidzuanRichie.com and MatKepoh.com
You can submit new questions for Ask Josh!™ here.
Tags: askjosh
General useful advice: Life, love & web browsing.
Ask Josh!, General February 17th, 2010
Here’s a few things I’ve discovered online recently…
Ever done this before? Flipped a coin? Btw “heads” (for Malaysian coins at least) is the side with an illustration covering the majority of the coin face. In the US, they usually have pictures of former presidents heads on the coins, hence it’s called “heads”.
On a related note, I have tossed a coin and got heads 10 times in a row before. Yes, I was asking on the answer to something. Freaky huh?
When faced with a difficult decision with two possibilities, flipping a coin might be just as good as long thought about it (and faster). I met two people once with very conflicting opinions on how to make decisions:
- One believed that it is best to make a decision fast, because anyway, “anything after you’ve made the decision is post-rationalization”.
- Another believed that its best to take time to make a decision, even if you lose money over it as the additional time bought to make the decision is worth it.
Which would you agree on?
And something else, that’s always been there and you might not have realized about your humble mouse (assuming it has three buttons). Yes, the wheel is a button as well. And did you know it can do something special?
The one above…so obvious, but I didn’t know until now. And I bet many people don’t! This should save me quite a bit of time when I’m browsing on my Streamyx / Firefox. I usually have about 8-10 tabs open…and quite frequently have to scroll the tab lists. This may make me spawn even more tabs. Hahah. More helpful hints soon!
It’s 2010! That’s pronounced Two Thousand Ten la!
Ask Josh! January 6th, 2010
This Week On Ask Josh:
Ah Josh ah, it is 2010. Is it Twenty Ten or Two Thousand Ten?
Regards, Clueless in Cheras.
I response. OH HAI. YOU CAN HAZ NEW YEAR? YES YOU CAN!
However, it’s 2010. That’s pronounced “Two Thousand Ten”.
Or even, Two Oh One Oh.
It’s NOT “Twenty Ten”.
- Because you don’t say Twenty Hundred. You say Two Thousand. (2,000)
- Because you don’t say Three Hundred Hundred. You say Thirty Thousand (30,000)
- Because you don’t say One Thousand Thousand. You say One Million. (1,000,000)
- Because you don’t say Twenty Hundred Nine. You say Two Thousand Nine.
(I am aware that this is kind of an American habit. Especially the “Twenty Hundred” habit. Tetapi, Kami Rakyat Malaysia™. Americans are on the imperial system (eg inches. miles, etc). As Malaysians, and we kind of use the metric system more than anything. Here’s a link on why the metric system is better).
Your car speedometer is in kilometers. You give your height in CM for your Malaysian passport. See?
(The exception though, is the penis rule. That one seems to be measured in inches mostly. Unless you so poor thing until have to measure in millimeters la).
Btw, that movie…2012. Did you called it Two Zero One Two or Twenty Twelve or Two Thousand Twelve?
I know some of you object:
Eh Josh ar, but…but…back in 1999, WE CALLED IT NINETEEN NINETY NINE WOR!!
I response. Hello!The previous year was TWO THOUSAND NINE RIGHT?
That’s because…Because One Thousand Nine Hundred And Ninety Nine is 10 syllables, and too long, so we had to settle for the inaccurate, but shorter Nineteen Ninety Nine lor.
Sekarang dah zaman moden tau.
It’s Two Thousand (And) Ten. Or Two Oh One Oh if you like.
Not Twenty Ten la aiyo…
Food poisoning seriously sucks (and a remedy)
Ask Josh!, Sharing November 11th, 2009
My mummy told me once before that food poisoning is the second worst thing than the feeling of bloatedness and morning sickness from pregnancy. As I blog this, I am suffering from food poisoning, this would be the second day so far.
Friends: I feel much better than I did yesterday, but running to the toilet several times a day is not a good thing.
Bloggers: You’ll be pleased to know I somehow managed to attend 2 meetings over the past 2 days without puking on any clients. Not the best thing for me to be out and about with food poisoning, but this few days have been pretty good for sales (broke the Advertlets sales record recently), so felt I just had to keep it up.
I remember the last time I was down with food poisoning. I was probably down for about 3 days in total. Couldn’t drive, couldn’t get up, couldn’t even use a computer and could hardly talk on the phone. And guess what, I got food poisoning from McDonald’s of all places. Confirmed case - the other person I had breakfast with (a pretty girl, though that detail is not necessary to the story) also had food poisoning. After that I stopped taking the McD’s breakfast for a year. Then I started again la, since it’s hard to resist…
But recovery seems much much faster this time - couldn’t eat solid food for the first day, but today I had solid food and my appetite is back. Attended meetings, did up proposals, answered some e-mails and calls. And the other half of the time when I feeling too sick to get up, managed to lie down with my netbook to download clips on Youtube, check out some TV series, and look at funny cat pictures on on my Streamyx connection. (Which is pretty fast in my area actually - check out this speed test I ran).
Oh, and best part I seem to have lost 1KG in just a day. Haha!
Anyway, thought I’ll share this with you - largely I think a faster recovery this time around is because I think I’ve found a combination of stuff that works, so you might want to give this a try…
First tip: Don’t vomit in the sink. Vomit in the toilet bowl. You don’t wait to block up your sink.
Now, on to the medicines!
This picture below reminds me of what a certain blogger used to blog about before appearing in a certain Malay paper Nah, these are just normal prescription medications, you can get them from any clinic.
All of these work together to make you less dehydrated, and not feel so nauseous. That’s it for the Western medicine.
On to the Chinese medicine!
These are ‘Poh Chai’ pills. I’m not sure if this is their intended function, but they make me puke instantly - like 1-3 seconds afterwards. I had four of them over 5 hours, and felt much better. They come in ‘buckshot’ like containers, each little pellet dissolves quickly when you drink it with water. Suggest you take this in the bathroom, if you’re going to have a reaction like me.
This is…Ya-Hom Powder Five Pagodas Brand. A friend brought this over to me, together with a few cans of 100plus. Felt much better after that. He said usually one is enough. It really works.
Here’s a close up of how the paper looks when unwrapped (also, in case you need to ask for it in Thai or Chinese)
I also have no idea why they are packaged to resemble ammunition.
Hopefully you never have to get food poisoning, but if you do, try this combination and let me know if it works!
Lastly, if you are currently suffering from food poisoning, here’s something to cheer you up…
Q: What’s worse than puking from your mouth and diarrhea from your ass all day long?
A: Imagine if you had diarrhea from your mouth instead…
Eat safe!
Beyonce Concert in Malaysia Cancelled (Or Postphoned?)
Ask Josh!, Parties & Events, Sharing, Stuff October 19th, 2009
Update: (6:37PM): Official statement from Marctensia regarding the Beyonce concert is here. Summary: It is postponed. No future date announced. But it won’t be anytime from today till 14 November 2009 (because you can get refunds from 26th Oct 2009 till then). You wonder though, whether this will be postponed the same way Rihanna was “postponed?” (btw, understandably, Rihanna was organized by Pineapple Concerts, not Marctensia). My sympathies go out to Marctensia. It doesn’t seem like they were the ones that didn’t want this to happen.
Update: (6:08PM): Got off the phone with someone in Maxis. It is postponed indefinitely, and it doesn’t seem anytime too soon.
Update: (6:05PM): An official tweet from @maxiscomms says that: “Beyonce concert is postponed and NOT cancelled. We are getting a response from the Event Organizer right now to have an official statement.”
Update (3:39PM): Malaysia is not listed on the tour dates of Beyonce’s official site. But her album did go platinum in Malaysia, lol.
Breaking news. Beyonce’s concert in Malaysia has been postphoned. According to 3 different sources, “a Maxis marketing officer has said that it is postphoned, an an announcement will be made tomorrow.”
My sources are: Two people in Twitter, and several that I know in real life (involved as a sponsors/associates) who spoke on the phone with people from Maxis. This seems pretty final. 
Honestly, this does not bode well for Malaysia. Although I’m not a big Beyonce fan, she is Beyonce, a top international act - and I would have gladly paid to go. Stuff like this that just keeps happening makes international artistes skip Malaysia as a concert venue to go to Indonesia & Singapore instead. Tourism Malaysia HOWWW. Future of Malaysia HOWWW.
Follow @joshlim on Twitter to be updated when this story develops (or if you want to listen to my tweets la). It’s lots of fun one.
If you want to share the sad news, retweet & weep using links below:
We Men Are Pretty Damn Easy, Seriously (Or How to Steal A Man)
Ask Josh!, Sharing October 15th, 2009
So yeah. This is a rather “special edition” of Ask Josh. Seeing that I’m high on champagne, and I was just asked this less than 3 hours ago.
Anyway, some background: The setting is a club in KL. A clubbing friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a while was lying on a sofa, flat. She was somewhat conscious, and got up as I approached, to my surprise.
Image from "alexsk" on Flickr
Let’s say that she’s hot, curvy, dressed in a shining dress, and looking better than I’ve ever seen her before.
Anything else would reveal who it is. Which isn’t my intent.
We talked a while earlier. I asked her about her impending marriage. And well, apparently her fiancee wasn’t her fiancee anymore for good reason.
I haven’t seen her in about a year, the last I heard was that she was about to get married. Guess I’ve been pretty outdated.
And well, it seemed that she had moved on, which was good - but well, it wasn’t exactly reciprocal.
She seemed pretty upset. Maybe tipsy. Maybe both. And, uninitiated, she said: “Josh, sit down.”
I sat down beside her on the maroon couch.
“I got something to say. You know Josh, I’ve known you for a while. And I don’t know why, but I have to tell you something. I’m pretty upset, and there’s this guy I like”.
And apparently, the guy was there earlier on at the club.
“I really like him. And we’re good friends. But he’s with someone. And she really doesn’t deserve him!”.
I asked why.
“She’s pretty possessive. And, you know, the worst part is I know the girl. And I was taking care of her as she was drunk”.
“And, she treats him like shit. I was in the toilet with her, and she was slapping him, raising all sorts of fuss….and he even had to apologize to me, saying ‘I’m sorry you had to see that’.”
What I said to her next is probably one of the best, and in a way, worst advice that I’ve given before. Let’s keep in mind that I have never drank this much champagne in one night before. And I am feeling the effects still, as I write this.
This was what I said.
If you’re a woman, pay special attention. If you’re a man, nod your head silently as you acknowledge the simple truth. Either way, leave a comment if you think this is true.
I decided to reveal to her the secret of men:
“We’re pretty damn simple, seriously. ”
Since the lady sounded like quite the bitch, oh well. Let’s help her steal him, shall we? Said I to myself.
So I told her: You know what? Let me tell you something.
Men are not complex creatures. We do not necessarily dwell on emotions, and to tell the truth, we can be very easily confused.
Take him out, have a night out. You’re good friends, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Put it this way. He’s probably been with her for a while. And you know what? She’s the nagging “wife”. You’re the available and attractive “mistress”. You’re the friend he’s going to complain to about her. And as long as you’re simply there, you have the advantage of being the one that he can approach without stress, to be understood, to be there for him.
Here’s the evil part.
Get him out. Get him tipsy. Get him to down a few shots.
And when you’re dancing on the floor, or lounging next to each other, as you’re whispering in his ear…blow into it. Grab him. Lick. Kiss him. Have your way with him. Anything after that is up to your imagination, and accommodation available to do whatever you have in mind.
And whether in the next few seconds, or the morning after, the sheer physical sensation of something, pleasant, new and unexpected is going to leave him confused about his feelings for her - and a little more sure about his feelings for you.
Remember you’re the “mistress”, not the “wife.” You have the advantage.
And, well, we’re men. We don’t need fucking flowers. Or a heartfelt confession or a love note. It’s really easier than that. Have your way with him, and he’s not going to push you away. Because you’re not ugly, and he’s not complex.
So, I left it at that, for the time being. She had to go over to the next club with her friends. I wonder if she’s going to win. Now that she knows the secret, I think she can. And well, loyal readers - I’ll keep you updated if she does.
Meantime, female readers, feel free to use this insight to have your way with someone you want.
It’s 2009. It’s okay for you to be that into him, or make the first move.
If you’re a feminist, think about it as equal rights. If you’re a classic passive type, think of it as trying something different that just might work.
It’s prime time for new relationships. It is October after all. The period before Christmas, before New Year, before Valentine’s, before Chinese New Year. It’s hookup season. Breakup season starts in March - quarter 2, after the novelty and pressure of Valentine’s is gone, after the festivities have passed.
Happy hunting, females of Kuala Lumpur. Displace some bitches for me, will ya? Cheers!
Things You Didn’t Know About Fast Food Delivery in Malaysia
Ask Josh!, General, Sharing June 17th, 2009
Warning: This article may make you fat. (Or fatter than you already are). In celebration of my weight stabilizing at 62-63 KG (average BMI), thanks to supplements and minimal amounts of exercise, I have been eating in pretty often.
Here are some tips I’ll like to share with you so you don’t need to bother with the whole ‘have to get up, wear clothes, then walk out and actually enter restaurant and buy food’ kind of thing:
If you push the one in front, the rest will all fall like...Domino's!
Domino’s Pizza - Tel: 1-300-888-333
Pro-tip: Dominos vouchers are “infinite.” Got an expired Domino’s voucher? Give them your coupon code and ask them if they can honour it. Most of the time, they will - and they will give you the discount, as well as give you new coupons. The free contoured Coke glass they have in conjunction with the Terminate Your Hunger promo currently is pretty cool, look for the Terminate Your Hunger packages. The last time I checked though, the stocks for the glasses were sold out.
Direct link to Domino’s delivery menu.
Ah Lonald ah, why you so happy one?
Ah Lonald ah, why you so happy one?
McDonald’s - Tel: 1-300-13-1300
Direct link to McDonald’s delivery menu.
Breakfast tips (especially if you work late, this is useful)
McDonald’s McDelivery is 24 hours. After 4AM, breakfast is available. However, the regular menu isn’t available.
Looking for a healthy food that tastes good and passes out unprocessed when you do your thing? McDonald’s serves corn too!
Most people don’t know that McDonald’s serves corn. I’m pretty pleased with the condition of the corn most times. Except for when I asked for ‘Corn in Cup’, and they asked me ‘What flavour? Chocolate or Strawberry?’. And also, when they gave me SUGAR for my Corn in Cup instead of SALT.
Are you so damn lazy that you can’t walk out to get food, you can’t walk out to get cigarettes either?
Most of the time, its very possible that you can get the delivery boy to go and buy you cigarettes (or other junk) as well. Just ask. And give a tip. RM2-RM3 is good. If it’s the same guy, he’s even more likely to do so.
Say 'Peri-Peri!'
Say 'Peri-Peri!'
Nando’s - Tel: 1300-88-6555
Has delivery, although it is mostly underpromoted. They close at 10:00PM though. I’m pretty pleased with the service in general, especially because the Coke comes ice-cold (they sometimes include a bag with ice), and also, they use stylish environmentally friendly paper bags instead of plastic.
Direct link to Nando’s Delivery Menu.
Even if your place is a dump, you can still get room service as if it's a hotel!
Even if your place is a dump, you can still get room service as if it's a hotel!
Room Service - Tel: 1300-886-886
Room Service Deliveries Malaysia/Singapore serves stuff from Chilli’s, Friday’s and various expensive restaurants around Bangsar. They only cover PJ/Bangsar, KL/Ampang, Sunway/Subang.
The RM10-RM15 delivery charge is ridiculous, but its worth the hassle if you’re craving a pasta carbonara or a nice juicy burger and thick fries, and you don’t want to settle for McD’s. Good for ‘at-home’ dates with your girlfriend or mistress.
Burger Queen is sexy.
Burger Queen is sexy.
As For Other Outlets…Not Yet…
And of note, if any of you relevant marketing folks are reading this, the top restaurants I would like to see offering delivery in Malaysia are: Yoshinoya, Burger King, KFC, & Carl’s Jr.
Lastly, I recommend you tip your delivery boys. Considering that they earn RM800-RM1200 a month at most (based on my estimate), give them a RM2-RM5 tip, simply because they are the faithful enablers of your lazy gluttony.
Have a happy time getting fat! Toodles!
Tags: askjosh
'Almost too lonely' - From user 'helloeno' on flickr.
Now and then, I like to look through the search queries that led people here. It appears I have some lonely blog readers from all around the world, and some closer to home. Here they are, arranged into related categories. Here they are, with my comments in italics.
Josh Lim Answers Your Google Search Queries: Relationship Edition
What should I do?
1. can i guy like you but want to wait until his life is more together before he dates you
Guys are simpler than that, generally. Perhaps it’s a more polite way of saying ‘no, thanks’.
2. he wants to move on but he wants to keep in touch, why
Keeping you as an secondary option in case his new relationship(s) fails to work out.
3. why do guys keep you around for long but don’t get serious?
See above.
4. why do men keep girls he likes as just friends
See above.
5. inexperienced men who are not into you enough
Making him like you isn’t a matter of experience, it’s a matter of interest. This can’t be taught.
6. what if you know he’s not into you but you can’t get over him
Have you considered, maybe it’s time to go.
7. love problem solving: how to get with a boy, if he’s just finished his ex
It’s actually the easiest time. Go for it.
8. what to do when someone doesn’t want to date you but wants to be yoru best friend
Live with it. Or seduce him.
9. signs he wants you back and is not playing you
If he’s not too smooth, and not too fast and not sounding too desperate, he probably really likes you.
10. signs he’s not that into you but someone else
He doesn’t call you, and if he does talk to you, it’s about her. Simple.
11. signs that he is just keeping you hanging around
There are too many to cover here. But think about it. How did you act the last time you weren’t really interested in someone but wanted to keep the option open? What would you do to sustain someone’s interest just enough to keep them on a leash, but not give too much of yourself?
What should I do?
1. girls asks you back to her place
I hope you didn’t Google for this AFTER you decided to say no. And really - GIRLS? Not just one? Wow.
2. give up virginity
Well, you’re not going to find it by going online…
Looking for Love in the wrong places:
1. need fucking girl in klang
2. prostitute pricing mid valley
3. elite lesbian pub
I have no comments on the queries above, they speak for themselves.
Some queer queries:
1. how to pleasure yourself if you are gay
The exact same way you do if you were straight would work just fine.
2. how to determine if a straight man likes a gay
I think it’s safe to say he doesn’t.
'Lonely Cherub', from Flickr user lostvegas
I hope you find your answers soon, or that mine helped. Or concile yourself with the fact that they may never be found.
The human genome has be mapped, we may have glimpses of the Higgs-Boson (the God particle), and science will continue to make beautiful & astounding discoveries.
But humans are simply flesh covered receptacles of random chemicals, meat and emotions that will not always make rational or understandable decisions.
There is no set definition of ‘love’, it varies in context and meaning from person to person. You do not get what you put in, emotional investment does not guarantee a reciprocation or return on investment.
There are no easy answers, but knowing that there is no definite answer to the question you might have, makes it easier to give up on that one and find a new way to feel better about yourself.
Let’s end with a very short poem that I found recently. I thought it was pretty moving.
I can write the saddest lines tonight. I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.
~ Pablo Neruda
Ask Josh: How Much Should Dating Cost Nowadays?
Ask Josh! April 24th, 2009
Another question comes in for Ask Josh, from another guy. I thought you girls were the emo ones?
Dear Josh,
'After buying the bag, I think we need to find somewhere cheaper to eat...how ar?' Photo from photographi_esc on Flickr
'After buying the bag, I think we need to find somewhere cheaper to eat...how ar?' Photo from photographi_esc on Flickr
I’m a 24 year old male that has recently broken up with with my live-in girlfriend after 5 years. There’s no way I can get back with her (I’ve tried, that is too long a story). Anyway, I recently started dating again. I know there’s plenty more to ask about starting again, but here’s the first question - how much should dating cost nowadays? Need to start budgeting as I’m earning a basic salary (about RM2500). I realize it sounds like a stupid question, but all I used to do last time was hang out around the house watching DVDs with my girl, and we didn’t really go out a lot. What do girls expect? I assume as the guy I’m supposed to pay right? I live in the Klang Valley, Malaysia.
Regards, NIHTWDAB
(Now I have To Watch DVDs Alone Boy)
Josh responds:
Thanks for a rather interesting question. Most people would worry about the emotional baggage from the previous relationship, and how to move on. It appears you have that sorted, and you are a pragmatic person who realizes that these are damn sucky economic times, so I will move on.
I’m probably going to cover the middle ground. There are too many variables: from shallow golddigging bitch with her own money but doesn’t want to spend it, to middle-class well-adjusted girl who pays half the time, to wealthy and generous girl who doesn’t mind splitting from time to time, to sugar mummy who spends on you.
Thanks to all the experienced daters of women (from the played to the players) who shared their thoughts with me on this. Having heard your stories - I hope you meet better girls.
Your petrol cost: (RM10-RM40)
Girls reading this will probably think: Damn kiamsap right? Have to think of how much you have to spend on petrol just to go see her! How can! You stingy bastard!
Actually, it is a valid cost. Especially valid if it she stays very far away.
Given that your girlfriend used to stay with you, and you did nothing but watch DVDs, you had no petrol cost. That is about to change.Whether she lives in Cheras or Subang Jaya, Balakong or Damansara Heights makes a difference, relative to where you stay.
I used to date a girl in Balakong. We met under odd circumstance. It was a one and a half hour drive each time to go to her place from PJ. That’s probably about RM25-RM30 of petrol per back and forth trip by today’s prices. I must have spent close to RM1000 on petrol just on her. She was worth the drive, and we went out many times, but eventually broke my heart. But that’s a story for another time.
Pro-tip:
“You can reduce your petrol costs by driving at a moderate speed, not braking suddenly, and checking your tires! Or you can pick up girls around your condo…”
Communication: (RM20-RM300)
Not only are you going out with her from time to time, but I assume you also have to sweet talk her and tell her she very pretty.
I’m assuming your girlfriend is within driving distance, so it’s not going to be a significant cost.
But if she’s in Singapore, then expensive la. There are too many variables, but here’s some tips:
- If you’ve been calling her a lot, put her number on your Activ5/8Pax/Friends & Family plan.
- It’s cheaper to call from mobile to mobile than house line to mobile.
- Webcam and chat on MSN and Skype is actually more fun.
Pro-tip:
“If she doesn’t want to talk to you, you save money on your handphone bills!”
Food: (RM10-RM500)
Breaking down your food options, prices are quoted for two people, assuming you’re paying for her.
An easy way is to ask: What kind of food do you like? If she shy shy and say anything also can…to avoid looking like a cheapskate, go by approximation: The kind of restaurants that are closest to where she stays. For example, Damansara Heights has quite a bit of fine dining place, and Cheras has more hawker restaurants. If you don’t know, perhaps you can scale it by the kind of car she drives.
Hawker/Mamak/’Neu Kopitam’/Coffee: RM10-Rm25 (roadside stalls, Old Town White Coffee, The Chicken Rice Shop, Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Gloria Jeans)
Fast food: RM25-RM40 (Malls: McD, KFC, A&W, Yoshinoya, Carl’s Jr, Kenny Rogers, etc)
Casual Dining: RM30-RM120 (Malls: Sushi Groove, Tony Roma’s, Chili’s, Delicious, Kim Gary, etc)
Fine Dining: RM120-RM500 (Bangsar, Hartamas, KL: Seven Ate Nine, La Fite, El Cerdo)
Good food need not be expensive. Try to find lesser known choices that are good. This one you have to search around by yourself first. For example, in Sunway Pyramid Sushi Zanmai is tons better tasting and value for money than Zen even though it costs less, and they are walking distance from each other.
Pro-tip: If you really have no money, one of the more ‘experienced’ people I know suggests this: Ask her to eat first la. Go for coffee only lor.
Entertainment & Activities (RM50-RM150)
Because you have do something else before making out right?
Light Sports: (RM10-RM40): Bowling, Arcade, Batting, Archery, Pool, Snooker
Visual/Auditory: (RM10-RM80): Movie, Theatre Play, Philharmonic Orchestra
Exploratory: (RM5-Rm25): Aquaria, Planetarium, Petrosains
But seriously, when was the last time you took a girl to Petrosains for a date? Actually, it might be an interesting idea…I know of one guy who told me he made out in a planetarium, and another couple who got caught making out in Petrosains. WTF, in Petrosains! You’re supposed to be learning about the wonders of science, not of each other!
Pro-tip:
“There are security cameras in Petrosains, LRT lifts, and most major shopping complexes”.
Shopping (RM25-RM wtf)
Is she a shopper? I hope not…
Whatever you do…don’t get stuck with this: A trick I’ve heard before. The girl buys a whole bunch of stuff, puts it at the counter, then she says she has to go to the toilet. After that she calls you and she says she’s at another shop, just come over. The unspoken request she is saying: Pay for my stuff, then meet me there. This has actually happened from a story related to me, but not to me.
Assuming she asks you to buy a reasonable amount of items (and not assuming reasonable prices)
Phew: (RM25-RM150) Giordano, U2, Bossini, Hang Ten, Padini
Okay la: (RM150-RM500) Miss Selfridge, Topshop, Dorothy Perkins, Forever 21, Zara
Wah-lau: (RM300-RM500) Calvin Klein, Guess, Armani Exchange
Can Die Wei (RM500 - RM wtf) Fendi, Gucci, Prada,Coach, Juicy Couture, BCBG Max Azria, Zang Toi
Pro-tip: “Don’t buy expensive jewellry on a first date. Unless she’s a prostitute, or you’re a Datuk. Or both.”
Misc Costs (RM5-RM100-RM whatever)
This can include stuff such as water/drinks, parking, toll, condoms, abortion pills (if you forget to buy condoms), or even, being disowned by your family and beaten up by her dad (if you forget the last two items before this one).
Conclusion:
So, the cost of a date in the Klang Valley is…anywhere from RM50-RM500 per date. Multiply by the number of times you go out per month.
Okay la. Assuming you even manage to get it down to RM75-RM100 a date - going out an average 6 times a month would set you back…RM450-RM600. Yes, that’s roughly your petrol cost + your handphone bill per month.
You should allocate about a quarter, to half of your monthly salary. I suggest you get a credit card, a friendly Ah Long, or a better job, or a sugar mummy. I know it’s ridiculous, but so is the whole concept of dating.
At the end of the day, everything has a cost - it’s just whether it’s payable in paper bills…or through the tears and sorrow of a broken heart and endless regrets. May you lose more money than dignity!
Good luck!
Reader feedback: So, what do you think?
This is for the girls to answer: Is it the guy’s responsibility to foot the bill? How often on average (say, out of 10 dates) do you pay for stuff? How much does your boyfriend spend on you per month? (Tip: Try this - try to guess first…then later on ask him for his answer. Let us know BOTH figures). How long have you been dating?
Guys: Is this sadly so damn true? How much do you spend…and does she appreciate it? How long have you been dating?
Update, based on reader feedback:
DATING, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG: Josh.my does not recommend the following: ‘my boyfriend always calculates verbally how much money he spends on an average date with me.’ Wah lau.
Rather, the correct way to do it is to either keep a mental tally, or an account ledger. Only bring it up if she mentions ‘How come you never buy me stuff?’. That’s how it’s done la.
Tags: askjosh
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