I’m writing this for a couple of guys I know who could do with this information. Particularly some who’ve had some really bad breakups AND/OR are having career troubles right now. However, I feel that a larger audience would find it useful, and thereby, I’m deciding to share it here.

Ideally, everyone would like to be in a proper relationship with one partner, and settle down. But not everyone has the luxury of letting that happen. And it is illogical to wait and do nothing before you meet that person. The best thing to do as a man is to prepare yourself career wise – because as much as you’ll like to think that money doesn’t matter to your dream girl, it does.

The last thing you want to do is miss out on the chance that you could have met your dream girl, but missed out she could not trust in your stability. Please take in the following information:

• The poverty line is RM3000 for the urban poor. Yes, this means that if your household income is below RM3000, you are considered poor.  “If you have three children and your household income is RM3,000 or below, you’re almost at the poverty line,” Would you expect your wife to be able to work fulltime AND raise your child?
• It costs RM1 million to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. Yes, even if you send them to government school.
• A ‘proper’ wedding is at least RM30-50K, including the hotel, arrangements, photographer & videographer, etc.
• A condo in PJ above 1000sq feet would cost you at least RM200K
• From 2005 until 2010, the average inflation rate in Malaysia was 2.77 percent.
• Petrol price in the year 2000: RM1.20. Petrol price in the year 2011: RM2.80

You know how Destiny’s Child had that song, ‘Independent Women’ about how they could afford to buy their own things? Look for one of their earlier singles, ‘Bills Bills Bills’ where they sing about looking for a man that could pay their telephone, credit card & automobile bills. Ironically, putting the two songs together, they still expect their man to pay for necessities, while the money that they make for themselves goes towards luxuries. A man’s job is to provide, and as much as gender roles have progressed, this won’t change in the years to come.

Of course, money is important, but the key thing here is the minimum effective – it’s not always the guy with the most money that will “win” the heart of a fair maiden, however there is a certain standard.

Most hot girls would have between 4-8 guys chasing them at any given time. She will probably say no, they are just friends. But you know that guy friend that’s been by her side, the one she tells her problems to, fetching her around, and tells everyone that they are friends, nothing going on between them…you know that guy friend is suddenly gonna be jealous when she gets serious with one of the guys that she goes out with.

Anyway, let’s say there are 6 guys chasing after the girl. One of them is you. For the purposes of this, let’s say you are (or aim to be) Guy C

• Guy A: RM2,000 a month income, handsome, charming drives kapchai.
• Guy B: RM6,000 a month income, damn handsome, damn charming,  drives Perodua
• Guy C: RM8,000 a month income, average looking, moderately charming, drives Honda
• Guy D: RM15,000 a month income, good looking, moderately charming, drives BMW.
• Guy E: RM20,000 a month income, okay looking, moderately charming, drives Mercedes
• Guy F: RM100,000 a month income, obese, ugly, not charming but sincere, drives Bentley (actually driver drives it for him).

Looking at this chart: It’s not necessarily the guy with the highest income will win. Or the most handsome one. (Given that personality is very subjective)

The minimum effective in this case is probably, RM6,000. Which puts Guy C in a good position to win, competing against guy B & D. Guys A, E & F are not necessarily in the race for various factors.

Essentially, personality, charm & sincerity count, but to put it in a certain way, you must have this much (a minimum effective) to play (or be in the running).

I expect some protests from the girls reading this…but before that, let me ask you two questions:

• Have you ever went out with a guy who didn’t have a car? When was the last time?
• Second, if you answered the first one with ‘yes, or recently’ – if you have before, why are you no longer with him?

My point exactly.

Anyway.

With that in mind, you guys reading this – choose a decent career that’s likely to give you a salary of RM6000 at least by the time you are 35.

• If your colleagues have had only one pay increase in 4-6 years and you don’t see yourself being the exception, maybe you should leave.
• Creative fields such as marketing, graphic arts, events, etc require less of a degree and more of a portfolio and practical experience.
• If you lack leadership & speaking skills, but can spend a lot of time and effort on things, consider a professional job like engineering, auditing, etc.
• The less people that can do your job, the more likely you are able to charge more for the work you do. For example, there’s was this guy that went around the world putting out oil fires (like when an oil pump catches fire). If you don’t remember your Science classes, oil floats on water – thereby it is hard to extinguish oil fires with water. You can imagine that he would make a lot of money, given that he is the only one, or 1 out of probably 20 people in the world that would know how to.
• My point from the bullet above? Choose a job that doesn’t have TOO many people doing it already if you can. Or one where you think you can be in the top 20% in the field. While you’re still young.
• There’s also a saying that goes it takes 1000 hours of practice to be an expert in something…so consider that before you consider switching fields too often.

Good luck. May you be able to afford your dream girl when you find her.