In this edition of Ask Josh!™ we answer a question from “aaron”, who is an asshole. He submitted the question here. You can submit your questions too, and preferably you’re not an asshole too.
Im considering breaking up with my girlfriend but Im unsure. Shes perfect for me in almost every way, but I wish she could be more outgoing in daily activities (Shes quiet and never cares what we do) and bed (she usually just lets me do everything).
It would be better if she initiated some “activites” or would be “sexier” for me. I want to break up because i want to find someone closer to perfection then her, but if i do i cant go back and may regret my decison. This is a 2 part question, should i stay with her, and if so how do i tell her to be more outgoing?
thanks for your time
Josh says: You do not realize the possibility that you might never have anything better than her right? Here’s a 2 part retort to your 2 bit question. And yes, I am trying to be helpful even while judging you.
Guys like you are presumptuous assholes. I don’t know if you’ve had the benefit of having many choices for your whole life, but I seem to be getting the impression that you don’t, and you got lucky with this girl.
You seem ungrateful for something which sounds pretty damn good already. It’s like asking God for cheese dip to go along with your manna from heaven. Or getting a Porsche for your birthday, and whining because you didn’t get a pair of sports rims to go with it.
“should I stay with her?”
Yes, as long as she can stand being with you. Assuming you’ve been with her for a long time, do you honestly think there is an infinite world of better girls out there?
You do realize there is some kind of balance to life right – let’s say you find a more outgoing girl, chances are she will be not as attractive as your first one.
Or if you find one better in bed, chances are she might not be as faithful to you.
If there weren’t a balance to life, we would all be dating Megan Fox / Maria Ozawa lookalikes with great personalities, awesome in bed, but somehow still faithful and submissive.
Let’s face it. While a lot of us might want perfection, the majority of us (99.9999999999%) of us will never get to have sex with Megan Fox. Or in Maria Ozawa’s case, perhaps 99.999% will never get to have sex with her.
And really, which part of “she usually just lets me do everything in bed” is a problem???
If you need spontaneity, why don’t you give her a few suggestions, and then tell her to randomly do one the next time you do it. There’s always this too. You can read this too – Ask Josh “I no longer find my girlfriend sexy…”.
“how do i tell her to be more outgoing?”
This requires her changing her fundamental personality. Sure, it may be great to have a girlfriend you can bring out more often to meet more friends, but do you really need it?
There are some ways though – perhaps bring her to Toastmasters, or bring her to more parties, and see if it awakens a more sociable side of her. Functions with alcohol helps.
But if you do it for a few weeks and you find it doesn’t work, just give up.
Remember, more outgoing also means more likely to cheat on you.
Perhaps she can’t be changed.
Perhaps she doesn’t need to be changed.
And perhaps, she’s good enough for you as she is right now.
But are you good enough for her?