Oh my. So I was having a drink at Starbucks, and I logged in to check my blog comments. Over on the other table behind, there was a girl wearing a tight fitting green shirt that had the words “Stop looking at me, I know that I am pretty” printed on it. She was pretty, and I spent some time looking at her despite the message on her shirt.

But that’s not the story.

I came across some comments from a certain “Faizal” on my old post, “Ask Josh!: I no longer find my girlfriend sexy. How like this?”

It’s kind of like a poem, but a closer look reveals that this guy is batshit insane and or delusional. And he left the same comment (with slight variations) three times.

From blog commentator "Faizal" on this post.

I am looking
A girl friend

Who can wrestle with me and win me….
Who I can talk about anything…..
Who want to use my arms as a pillow…
Who want to kiss me in rain,..Sunshine..and in snow…
Who can tell me her problems. …and let me help..
Who can kiss me and tell me Its sweet… I want more..
Who simply be mine and give me company….
0146624313

(Yes, he left his handphone number.)

So I decided to do some more research.

Searching through Google for “Faizal’s” handphone number, I came across this message board (his username is ‘jawad’ where he describes himself as a “strong mail having big dick”. He joins a proud bunch of Malaysian Gigolos…with prices that range from as cheap as RM35 - RM5000.

And according to his Yahoo profile (from the e-mail he left), he is a Male, in Petaling Jaya. It is troubling to know that he is in the same state as me. And an IP lookup suggest that he is in Kelana Jaya, just a few KM from my place. ARGH!

Various WTFs:

- Why would you want a girl which is physically stronger than you? Who can “wrestle with you and win you?”. Scenario A: You are so physically weak that a girl can wrestle you. Scenario B: Your girl is much larger than you and a champion bodybuilder. Both options are unfavourable.

- Why are you advertising yourself here on josh.my? There are many other blogs you can do this on!

- Malaysia has only one climate. A girl that will kiss you in rain, sunshine and snow…is not here.

- You want this girl to ‘give you company’? A Sdn Bhd? Surely you mean ‘keep you company’.

- When you find this girl, and if you do… don’t you think she would have a big problem with your side job as a gigolo?

Oh man. This is terrible.

Faizal the wannabe gigolo from Kelana Jaya can be contacted at redrose6624313@yahoo.com or 0146624313.

If you are a desperate male gigolo, I would like to request that you please don’t read or comment on this blog. Thank you.