Warning: This article may make you fat. (Or fatter than you already are). In celebration of my weight stabilizing at 62-63 KG (average BMI), thanks to supplements and minimal amounts of exercise, I have been eating in pretty often.

Here are some tips I’ll like to share with you so you don’t need to bother with the whole ‘have to get up, wear clothes, then walk out and actually enter restaurant and buy food’ kind of thing:

If you push the one in front, the rest will all fall like...Domino's!

Domino’s Pizza - Tel: 1-300-888-333

Pro-tip: Dominos vouchers are “infinite.” Got an expired Domino’s voucher? Give them your coupon code and ask them if they can honour it. Most of the time, they will - and they will give you the discount, as well as give you new coupons. The free contoured Coke glass they have in conjunction with the Terminate Your Hunger promo currently is pretty cool, look for the Terminate Your Hunger packages. The last time I checked though, the stocks for the glasses were sold out.

Direct link to Domino’s delivery menu.

Ah Lonald ah, why you so happy one?

McDonald’s - Tel: 1-300-13-1300

Direct link to McDonald’s delivery menu.

Breakfast tips (especially if you work late, this is useful)

McDonald’s McDelivery is 24 hours. After 4AM, breakfast is available. However, the regular menu isn’t available.

Looking for a healthy food that tastes good and passes out unprocessed when you do your thing? McDonald’s serves corn too!

Most people don’t know that McDonald’s serves corn. I’m pretty pleased with the condition of the corn most times. Except for when I asked for ‘Corn in Cup’, and they asked me ‘What flavour? Chocolate or Strawberry?’. And also, when they gave me SUGAR for my Corn in Cup instead of SALT.

Are you so damn lazy that you can’t walk out to get food, you can’t walk out to get cigarettes either?

Most of the time, its very possible that you can get the delivery boy to go and buy you cigarettes (or other junk) as well. Just ask. And give a tip. RM2-RM3 is good. If it’s the same guy, he’s even more likely to do so.

Say 'Peri-Peri!'

Nando’s - Tel: 1300-88-6555

Has delivery, although it is mostly underpromoted. They close at 10:00PM though. I’m pretty pleased with the service in general, especially because the Coke comes ice-cold (they sometimes include a bag with ice), and also, they use stylish environmentally friendly paper bags instead of plastic.

Direct link to Nando’s Delivery Menu.

Even if your place is a dump, you can still get room service as if it's a hotel!

Room Service - Tel: 1300-886-886

Room Service Deliveries Malaysia/Singapore serves stuff from Chilli’s, Friday’s and various expensive restaurants around Bangsar. They only cover PJ/Bangsar, KL/Ampang, Sunway/Subang.

The RM10-RM15 delivery charge is ridiculous, but its worth the hassle if you’re craving a pasta carbonara or a nice juicy burger and thick fries, and you don’t want to settle for McD’s. Good for ‘at-home’ dates with your girlfriend or mistress.

Burger Queen is sexy.

As For Other Outlets…Not Yet…

And of note, if any of you relevant marketing folks are reading this, the top restaurants I would like to see offering delivery in Malaysia are: Yoshinoya, Burger King, KFC, & Carl’s Jr.

Lastly, I recommend you tip your delivery boys. Considering that they earn RM800-RM1200 a month at most (based on my estimate), give them a RM2-RM5 tip, simply because they are the faithful enablers of your lazy gluttony.

Have a happy time getting fat! Toodles!

Tags: askjosh