Yes, that's me in one of the scenes in a play from my theatre days. Damn skinny right.

Prologue

Some of you may know that I used to act in theatre productions. Heard of the Actor’s Studio? I used to act in The Actor’s Studio at Dataran Merdeka. I got started by accompanying a friend to an audition for moral support. She didn’t get the part, I did. Sorry dear.

It is probably not a coincidence, that thespian (meaning actor) rhymes with lesbian. (meaing, er, girl who likes girls). The director was gay, the producer was gay, half the scriptwriters were gay, and half the cast was gay. And I think some of them didn’t know it yet, but they too, were gay.

In case you’re wondering, I’m not outing anyone here…most of them are pretty open about it. All in all, they were all pretty nice people, and it was a pleasure to work with them. It was a great experience, and I learnt a lot from everyone there.

Which brings you to the obvious question: Josh, how about you? I gave this matter some thought back then, and I figured, if I ever were to have turned gay, it would have been back then. But I like girls wayyyy too much. And seriously, more than one hairy body is trouble la. For me at least. So I’m straight (maybe slightly metrosexual though). Just so you know, I find lesbians particularly interesting to talk to. As we have a shared interest. Girls.

But whatever your thing is, go ahead man, this world is for all types who like all sorts of things.

The cast of rep16:21. I'm somewhere here I think.

Although, in the theatre production, I did play the part of a gay character with daddy issues who didn’t want to claim his prize of sleeping with a hot chick even though he was the top Boy Scout (it’s a pretty complicated and funny story, based on true events of the writer who wrote the part).

So, yes, on to the story...

So how do you know if you are gay? The simplest question to ask yourself:

So, someone, let’s call him Mr XXX. We were on the way to rehearsals, he was driving.

So of course, we were talking about rehearsals, the production, etc. At one point though, the conversarion took a serious turn, and Mr XXX asked for some advice.

Mr XXX: Josh, how do you know if you are gay?

(I thought for a few before I figured out the answer to his question. And then I answered, based on something I’ve either heard before, or something that just struck me as common sense.)

Josh:  Well, Mr XXX, when you um, pleasure yourself in a sexual manner, what gender is the person you’re thinking of? Your body is pretty sure of what it likes, I guess.

There was a long pause before he replied.

Then he said…hesitantly, with some worry in his voice - ‘But…but…Are you sure, Josh? Really?’

At that point, I was quite sure he knew the answer, and perhaps it wasn’t what he hoped it to be. I mumbled a reply, I can’t remember what I said and I shifted a little in the passenger seat. We never spoke of that again.

From what I know he seems to be doing quite well in the theatre scene now…so, great for him!

So now, you know how to answer the question on your own orientation. Good luck with that. The ancient Greeks, they believed in falling in love with people instead of genders by the way. Remember though, that people of both genders, regardless of sexual orientation, have equal potential to be assholes.

And lastly…the launch of ‘Ask Josh’, the advice column on josh.my

Anyway. Which brings me to my last point. About 10 years ago, I had an advice column. On my very first website. Hosted on Xoom. Which is now dead. While I think my traffic was about 0-10 visitors a day, I did get quite a fair bit of submissions. People wanted advice for some reason, and I answered it. It was good for both of us I believe.

So, I’m thinking of bringing back that idea. I don’t claim any special expertise other than the fact that I provide an opinion different from your own, and I’ve done it before about ten years ago. Oh, and I read a lot of blogs, that might count. Disclaimer: Trusting random bloggers for advice is not always a good idea.

Submit your lonely, broken hearted, relationship, corporate or home & garden questions to me via this blog (just leave it in the comments, with your real e-mail address if possible and I will moderate it so it’s hidden. (You can comment as usual as you wish on this post, but please denote if it’s a question for ‘Ask Josh’ if you want it to be hidden in the comments, any pseudonym you would like to use and and it will be answered on this site eventually). So, ask away!

Tags: askjosh